The term best friend has very little significance anymore. After school I learnt that people just come and go are rarely stay, no matter how much you try or how much effort you put in.
First there was one who knew me for 13 years. There were sleepovers, parties, birthday presents, days out with each other's families, days out together, midnight feasts everything. Unfortunately no matter how hard I may have tired this faded when we left school and in the 2 years since I've seen her twice and I might get a reply by text every 6 months. Although when we see each other it is like nothing has changed, its not a best friend relationship because we aren't there to talk.
In between there have been the few who I considered good friends however these were not the types of relationships that ended in us being that close, never really the best friend just another friend.
More recently I became really good friends with some one out of the blue. Like before we would go out and just talk, I could talk to her about anything. She was round mine till 12 watching crap on T.V. I had the girlie talks again. It was refreshing. However now it seems it has turned one way no matter how much I am there for her.
I've given up with all of that now. The closest I have is my boyfriend, he makes me happy, makes me laugh, know how to cheer me up and I can rely on him.
From now on I rely on no one except him and my family, seems I will get less hurt that way!
Rant over!
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
I've realised
I trust very few,
I'm actually quite secretive,
I'm not very open about myself to others,
And that I miss having that bestfriend who I can be myself around.
How odd life is that one night out with a few girls can make you realised so much about yourself!
Think change is needed :/
I'm actually quite secretive,
I'm not very open about myself to others,
And that I miss having that bestfriend who I can be myself around.
How odd life is that one night out with a few girls can make you realised so much about yourself!
Think change is needed :/
Monday, May 26, 2014
Tumblr
Is slowly becoming my favourite over this now! Might be time to move on... However my tumblr is slightly cringy! Hmmm maybe not yet.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
4 years ago
I was a size 10, about to embark on my GCSEs when I met the person I love more than anything!
Today was 4 years since we first met. A friend and I had spoken to these boys on MSN after they added the wrong Jessica and they wanted to meet us. Although a little dodgy and really as part of procrastination we went to a field near a pub and sport centre just so we were safe to meet them. We held back a bit and tried to spy to see if they were normal or not. After realising we weren't going to get raped as they were playing football we walked up to them. I had first spoken to a boy called Tom who wanted to meet me and got me to add his friend Cameron. I had been speaking to both of them but it was Tom who really wanted to meet. He decided it would be a good idea to play football to which me and my friend weren't too amused by. Nevertheless Cameron asked me to be on his team, I told him he would regret it and he soon did after seeing my skills or lack of more like! After a few hours, only one game of football and a lot of talking we all had to go back for dinner. We walked home with two other boys who asked me if I liked any of the other two (Tom or Cameron). Now this whole time Cameron made me laugh, put up with my crap football skills, helped me down a bank and compared to Tom seemed to be a nice person. I explained that to one of the boys who then gave me his number. After long deliberation I text Cameron saying "hi it's Jess this is my number" his reply unfortunately was "Jess who". I'm not going to lie my heart sank a bit, It wasn't that I liked him so much I was gutted but I just thought I hadn't made a big enough impression on him! That night I explained who and we sat up talking on MSN. We met up with the group a week later, again Cameron made me laugh and regardless of him being ill told me he had only come to see me. 11 days after that first meeting Cameron asked me to be his girlfriend! A little soon some would say but I wouldn't change it for the world! Four years later and it hasn't been the easiest, we've had out ups and downs but we've had the best times ever too, he still makes me laugh and cares enough to help me. It's just different now, I feel safer, I know he is there and loves me no matter what. Now we look to the future, constantly talking of houses and weddings and to be really honest the one thing both of us want more than anything, children! He is my bestfriend (as cheesy as it is) and neither of us can say we have been the most perfect boyfriend and girlfriend but we've learnt from our mistakes together. No matter who comes into my life I've learnt that they will never mean as much to me and Cameron.
Alright it's not our 4 years today but it's just amazing how much two people can change in such a short space of time!
Shame I'm not still a size 10 though!
Today was 4 years since we first met. A friend and I had spoken to these boys on MSN after they added the wrong Jessica and they wanted to meet us. Although a little dodgy and really as part of procrastination we went to a field near a pub and sport centre just so we were safe to meet them. We held back a bit and tried to spy to see if they were normal or not. After realising we weren't going to get raped as they were playing football we walked up to them. I had first spoken to a boy called Tom who wanted to meet me and got me to add his friend Cameron. I had been speaking to both of them but it was Tom who really wanted to meet. He decided it would be a good idea to play football to which me and my friend weren't too amused by. Nevertheless Cameron asked me to be on his team, I told him he would regret it and he soon did after seeing my skills or lack of more like! After a few hours, only one game of football and a lot of talking we all had to go back for dinner. We walked home with two other boys who asked me if I liked any of the other two (Tom or Cameron). Now this whole time Cameron made me laugh, put up with my crap football skills, helped me down a bank and compared to Tom seemed to be a nice person. I explained that to one of the boys who then gave me his number. After long deliberation I text Cameron saying "hi it's Jess this is my number" his reply unfortunately was "Jess who". I'm not going to lie my heart sank a bit, It wasn't that I liked him so much I was gutted but I just thought I hadn't made a big enough impression on him! That night I explained who and we sat up talking on MSN. We met up with the group a week later, again Cameron made me laugh and regardless of him being ill told me he had only come to see me. 11 days after that first meeting Cameron asked me to be his girlfriend! A little soon some would say but I wouldn't change it for the world! Four years later and it hasn't been the easiest, we've had out ups and downs but we've had the best times ever too, he still makes me laugh and cares enough to help me. It's just different now, I feel safer, I know he is there and loves me no matter what. Now we look to the future, constantly talking of houses and weddings and to be really honest the one thing both of us want more than anything, children! He is my bestfriend (as cheesy as it is) and neither of us can say we have been the most perfect boyfriend and girlfriend but we've learnt from our mistakes together. No matter who comes into my life I've learnt that they will never mean as much to me and Cameron.
Alright it's not our 4 years today but it's just amazing how much two people can change in such a short space of time!
Shame I'm not still a size 10 though!
Monday, April 28, 2014
I am so ready...
To grow up!
I just want to forget all the stupid times, all the mistakes.
I want to grow up, have all the things grown ups have.
First a job, a car, a house, get married and finally the most important ... Children!
I don't know what it is lately that just makes me want the next 5 years to hurry up.
To say I'm not scared/worried/anxious would be a lie. I am. I really hope the stability come with my job and him leaving his to do a proper well paid job. Growing up together but this time properly, the boring saving bits that we will hate but love when it means we can have our own place, our sofa to snuggle up on, out kitchen to cook in. I just can't wait. Not helped by the fact I have become so broody, not helped by the amount of babies about and family babies coming up as well as my best friend telling me just to have one! But sensible Jess knows that that will have to wait till the end of my 5 year plan, after all I am the one who has just had the implant replaced so no babies for three years :(.
I can't wait to finish Uni, I've had enough of education I want to make a difference all the time not just on my prison days. I want a proper job not McDonald's.
Wish things would just hurry up and go to plan, my five year plan :)
I just want to forget all the stupid times, all the mistakes.
I want to grow up, have all the things grown ups have.
First a job, a car, a house, get married and finally the most important ... Children!
I don't know what it is lately that just makes me want the next 5 years to hurry up.
To say I'm not scared/worried/anxious would be a lie. I am. I really hope the stability come with my job and him leaving his to do a proper well paid job. Growing up together but this time properly, the boring saving bits that we will hate but love when it means we can have our own place, our sofa to snuggle up on, out kitchen to cook in. I just can't wait. Not helped by the fact I have become so broody, not helped by the amount of babies about and family babies coming up as well as my best friend telling me just to have one! But sensible Jess knows that that will have to wait till the end of my 5 year plan, after all I am the one who has just had the implant replaced so no babies for three years :(.
I can't wait to finish Uni, I've had enough of education I want to make a difference all the time not just on my prison days. I want a proper job not McDonald's.
Wish things would just hurry up and go to plan, my five year plan :)
Friday, February 28, 2014
This weeks viewing
Being ill on Monday and still not feeling great has led me to watch many a weird and wonderful programme! I have watched
“sex please, were British” about the sex toy industry
“Strippers” you guessed it about strippers in Scotland
“Three’s not a crowd” about the boom in open relationships.
“Dogging diaries” about dogging
“My daughter the teen nudist” about nudists
And ofc "One Born Every Minute" love that programme!
I do love channel 4 for their programmes and must say it has open my eyes, and yes before you say it they are all of some sexual nature, but it’s just so weird how “the other half live” sometimes. I must add however sometimes these things have an appeal and look exciting and other times I find myself wondering why the hell I am watching what I’m watching. Nevertheless it was an eye opener I suppose, whether it has broadened my knowledge or made me a better person I don’t know but hey I was ill which meant watching this crap and the normal 4 in a Bed and Come Dine with Me. It’s been a good week…. Now back to stressing about essays!
Student joys!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
:D
So happy right now,
Melty and soppy but wouldn't change it.
Think good decisions have been made,
Realisations realised
And this is the result.
This is my fresh start :D woo
Melty and soppy but wouldn't change it.
Think good decisions have been made,
Realisations realised
And this is the result.
This is my fresh start :D woo
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