After this weekend I feel so happy again and content. After all the upset and being down lately for various reasons all it took was for him to come home and have a brilliant happy loving weekend again. So happy right now and so in love.
Had some amazingly refreshing talks with two close friends that made me realise I don't need to regret anything it's all normal and that I should embrace what I have and I am going to. No one will get in my way now, determined. Although I wish I could say the same for Uni! This storm is kinda making me happy if it means time off lol
Feel so contented to have a brilliant boyfriend and three brilliant friends in my life to cheer me up when they know something wasn't right :D
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Lessons I've learnt... So far
Don't take for granted what you have. Someday it won't be there.
If you've got something good, keep hold of it.
Look forward to even the smallest things and the big things will be amazing
Know whose got your back no matter what, and let them know you'd do the same
There's no point in getting angry... But it won't stop you wanting to punch someone in the face
Don't hold everything in, find someone who will listen and not judge.
As much as you love someone, you need friends too.
Tears help... It realises emotional tension, even though it seems they are happening too often.
Be yourself.... If they don't like it fuck them!
People change as much as you wish they didn't they do, but the best will always be there and come back to cheer you up.
You can regret what you've done... It's only normal.
Food is not the answer... But it helps!
Hugs help cheer me up.
I can be a very angry emotional person... But that's just me!
If you've got something good, keep hold of it.
Look forward to even the smallest things and the big things will be amazing
Know whose got your back no matter what, and let them know you'd do the same
There's no point in getting angry... But it won't stop you wanting to punch someone in the face
Don't hold everything in, find someone who will listen and not judge.
As much as you love someone, you need friends too.
Tears help... It realises emotional tension, even though it seems they are happening too often.
Be yourself.... If they don't like it fuck them!
People change as much as you wish they didn't they do, but the best will always be there and come back to cheer you up.
You can regret what you've done... It's only normal.
Food is not the answer... But it helps!
Hugs help cheer me up.
I can be a very angry emotional person... But that's just me!
Monday, October 21, 2013
What I would give....
To disappear with him, to leave everything behind right now.
To not be in this situation where I feel stuck, alone and unable to talk to those closest to me, and quite frankly stupid for letting someone make me feel like that.
To go back in time and not do what I've done and not say things I said....
After all it seems keeping quiet is the best option no matter who it is.
To not be in this situation where I feel stuck, alone and unable to talk to those closest to me, and quite frankly stupid for letting someone make me feel like that.
To go back in time and not do what I've done and not say things I said....
After all it seems keeping quiet is the best option no matter who it is.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Emotional
Feels so strange, so emotional lately
Feel all over the place and confused on how I feel
Part of me just wants a clean slate
Feel all over the place and confused on how I feel
Part of me just wants a clean slate
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Thank you
For making me realise there is only one person I can trust and rely on,
That he will never let me down
For making me see that I'm not missing out, but that I have the best thing ever.
Now I know he is the only one that puts me first, who would care and worry.
He treats me like a princess and I know what he says is true.
I love him more than ever right now and yet he isn't even here.
Atleast now I've realised how lucky I am to have him :)
That he will never let me down
For making me see that I'm not missing out, but that I have the best thing ever.
Now I know he is the only one that puts me first, who would care and worry.
He treats me like a princess and I know what he says is true.
I love him more than ever right now and yet he isn't even here.
Atleast now I've realised how lucky I am to have him :)
Sunday, October 13, 2013
It's amazing..
How a day can change so much.
Although those feelings will still always be there
And nothing had really changed
A day has taught me to enjoy what you have not want something else
Not to give up just because it's not how you want it right now
And that I can still moan about being pushed and pulled
But doing something about it makes a difference
I've never stopped loving him, but the growth of loved stopped
As I was under the impression there was a massive issue that would ruin us.
Although it's still an issue and I'm still trying
It's one thing in so many that makes me love him and I shouldn't dwell on that.
I can't wait to grow up in the next few years... So exciting all the new stuff to come
Although those feelings will still always be there
And nothing had really changed
A day has taught me to enjoy what you have not want something else
Not to give up just because it's not how you want it right now
And that I can still moan about being pushed and pulled
But doing something about it makes a difference
I've never stopped loving him, but the growth of loved stopped
As I was under the impression there was a massive issue that would ruin us.
Although it's still an issue and I'm still trying
It's one thing in so many that makes me love him and I shouldn't dwell on that.
I can't wait to grow up in the next few years... So exciting all the new stuff to come
Friday, October 11, 2013
Ramblings
Feeling wanted, then left out
Feeling loved while feeling unwanted
Feeling unsure of what to do, while knowing at the same time what I should do
Head over heart, or heart over head
Feeling let down, then feeling important
Not enjoying these mixed messages
Causing mixed feelings
From all angles :/
Feeling loved while feeling unwanted
Feeling unsure of what to do, while knowing at the same time what I should do
Head over heart, or heart over head
Feeling let down, then feeling important
Not enjoying these mixed messages
Causing mixed feelings
From all angles :/
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Fed up
Of being nice. All the bitching. Being stuck in the middle.
Don't you just love it when people ruin your good mood!
Don't you just love it when people ruin your good mood!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Coping
I have recently found coping methods very fascinating. After watching Whitechapel with DI Chandler having an elastic band that he pings when stressed (well before it broke) and his continuous washing, it made me wonder what methods I used to cope.
Most people reckon stress causes them to stop eating and lose weight... I wish! When stressed I eat more than ever, I got the comfort eating side!
I have realised the stress more lately and I see myself upset and crying, snapping and shouting most of the time without a coping method, always thinking the worst so I can't get any more upset/angry. Angry is something I never really was until lately and now half the time it's the want to physically do something to let out my rage, I normally say I want to punch someone but tbh it's pretty weak anyway!
However I don't actually think this works. 9 times out of 10 thinking of the worst scenario causes me more pain, more tears and more heart ache, but I can't help it.
I try to think of stupid funny situations but those sad emotions over ride and the bad thoughts over ride.
I think I need a better coping method.. Eating isn't working coz then I get upset at the size I am.
This is my project from now on... Let's hope it works!
Most people reckon stress causes them to stop eating and lose weight... I wish! When stressed I eat more than ever, I got the comfort eating side!
I have realised the stress more lately and I see myself upset and crying, snapping and shouting most of the time without a coping method, always thinking the worst so I can't get any more upset/angry. Angry is something I never really was until lately and now half the time it's the want to physically do something to let out my rage, I normally say I want to punch someone but tbh it's pretty weak anyway!
However I don't actually think this works. 9 times out of 10 thinking of the worst scenario causes me more pain, more tears and more heart ache, but I can't help it.
I try to think of stupid funny situations but those sad emotions over ride and the bad thoughts over ride.
I think I need a better coping method.. Eating isn't working coz then I get upset at the size I am.
This is my project from now on... Let's hope it works!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Confusion
Right now everything seems a little confusing to me...
I feel kinda blonde
I just don't understand people, why they do what they do, say what they say and behave the way they do.
Maybe it's because I'm an outsider looking in,
Maybe I expect people to act in certain ways...
Either way people are mind boggling right now
I feel kinda blonde
I just don't understand people, why they do what they do, say what they say and behave the way they do.
Maybe it's because I'm an outsider looking in,
Maybe I expect people to act in certain ways...
Either way people are mind boggling right now
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